Since Dave and I still have not gotten our house on the market, I am still staying at my parents during the week. I am so thankful that I have a place to stay that is closer to work than Lexington, however all I really want is for Dave and I to be living together again. This journey just won't seem quite over until that happens. So Monday morning I awoke, early of course, and headed into work. Keeping with tradition of first day pictures, here is a picture my dad took as I was walking out the door for my first day. Not at all surprising to me, I arrived to the hospital at 6:15 am. This was not good! I know what you are thinking and NO I was not late, but entirely to early. I used to get to the hospital at 6:15 when I first started residency. It is remarkable to me that I have been making this drive from my parents house to the hospital for 2.5 years now and I still don't have any idea how long it takes me to get there. Anyway, there was no way I was going to show my face in the locker room this early so I made myself sit in my car until 6:45. As you can imagine this was an agonizing wait. LOL!!Once I finally got changed and went into my room, I proceeded with my morning routine. One thing was different though...... instead of going over SAMTIDE once or twice, I probably did 20 times. I am sure you are wondering what the heck SAMTIDE is. It is obviously an acronym we learned in school. Oddly enough I recite this acronym in my brain so much that when I am now leaving my house for anything and I start to think do I have everything (meaning my purse, keys, zantac, chapstick, etc) I think SAMTIDE and have to remind myself that I am not at work. It has just become so engraved in my mind. It stands for, suction, airway, machine, monitors, tape, iv, drugs, equipment. It is a pretty fail safe system to make sure you have everything.
After checking over things 10X to many, I headed over to same day to see my first patient. I had to keep reminding my self to introduce myself as Brittany Kaiser, CRNA, instead of Brittany Kaiser, RRNA. My first patient informed me that he/she was really scared, and all I really wanted to say was, "so am I." For all you medical people out there, I am sure you are thinking that you wouldn't want a CRNA that was scared!!! I knew I was ready and well equipped with the skills I needed to provide safe, good care for this patient, it is just nerve racking when you are finally functioning independently, as it is in any job medical or not. After talking to my patient I headed over to the desk where we all congregate before heading back and I saw Brett, one of my classmates. It was his first day too. He looked at me and I think his exact words were, I am totally freaking out!! I laughed and said I was too. All of the seasoned CRNA's got a good chuckle out of us and our nervous jitters.
All and all I think my first week went OK. I definitely did not get easy assignments, and had some patients that were closer to dead than alive when I met with them, but all that matters is that they were still alive when I left them ;) I am not completely happy with my performance throughout the week, but I know I am my worst critic and that I can't expect to be perfect. (for all those non medical people reading...... I am sure you are thinking that you expect me to be perfect. Working in the medical field is just different and if you don't do it you won't understand this paragraph)
The one thing I can say is how happy I am to be working where I work. Working where I work, has forced Dave to make some changes to his life, and I am so grateful that he has been willing to do so, even though it will make his life more difficult. He will never, and could never understand the added benefits I have been granted being able to practice where I do. I desperately tried to get a job in Lexington, however there were none available and I just can't help but to know that everything happens for a reason. Starting this journey I didn't get into the program I thought I really wanted, but I now know that was a blessing. Not being able to find a job in Lexington, I once thought was so detrimental to our lives however this week I realized exactly why that happened. I only wish he could understand how grateful, I am to have the job I have. I love where I work, I love the people I work with, and most importantly making the transition form student to CRNA anywhere else would have been down right awful!! I am forever grateful that he has been willing to give up so much so that I could be where I am.
So, even though I know he will never read this, "Thanks Dave, I love you so much!!!!!"
