Videos Worth Sharing

Here are some videos of Brody........

 

Sleeping Newborn

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Newborn Sleeping Noises

Brody's First Laughs

 

Brody And Daddy Watching Base Jumping Videos

  

Pop And Brody In Florida

 

Brody Figures Out How To Use His Hands

Conversations With A Baby (12 weeks)

Back to Work

 Back to Work

I started back to work on February 13 and it was so much harder than I thought it would be.  Tuesday night was especially hard because I gave myself permission to get emotional about leaving him.  I rocked him to sleep that night and then came down stairs and cried so hard. Although I knew he would be fine because he is such and easy going baby I worried that our nanny Kaitlyn would have trouble learning his cues and he would cry more than usual because she would not be able to anticipate his needs like I can.  I do realize that the real reason I was upset was not because I was sad or scared for him but I was sad for me.  I didn't want him to become more attached to Kaitlyn than me, I was afraid he would begin to want her when I was with him and I was angry because going back to work was not what I wanted to do but  knew I had to.

When I woke Wednesday morning it went better than I thought.  I got up at 5:00 pumped, and then got myself ready for work.  Dave, Kaitlyn and I had planned out that I would not get Brody out of  bed this morning and I was going to just get ready for work and leave without even glancing at him.  I was afraid that if I looked at him that morning I wouldn't be able to stop the waterworks and showing up to work like that would be so embarrassing. I should have known that this was never going to work.  I couldn't leave without seeing him.  I woke him up at 5:45 fed him a bottle and we played till 6:30.  I even managed to keep my emotions in check!  When Kaitlyn arrived she  brought two heart shaped homemade cookies for me.  It was this simple gesture that really made my day so much better.  I knew Brody was in such good hands and even if it took some time for her to learn his cues I knew that she would love him and care for him like he was her own.  

My original assignment, for my first day back, was at the clinic doing pediatric cases.  I knew this would be to hard so the group switched my line with Leah's line.  I ended up having an easy case load at the hospital which was very helpful.  I realized that I had spent so much time worrying about leaving Brody that I had not even thought about how it would be to practice anesthesia after being gone for 11 weeks.  Luckily for me the day went pretty smooth.  It was great to see everyone again and I really do love my job so in some ways it was nice to be back to work.

The first weekend after returning to work I knew I would just want to snuggle Brody so I had told Dave it was fine if he went out of town.  I came to regret this decision, and like so many working Moms I had so much to get caught up on over the weekend that it was much busier than I had thought it would be.  Luckily for me Dave came home from his vacation on Monday night instead of Wednesday, which was so helpful.  I learned over the last week and a half that our nights are so busy after work that it really helps to have Dave home.  Currently our routine is that I get home at 4 and I feed Brody regardless of when he ate last and then we snuggle on the couch for awhile.  After Brody wakes up we play until Dave comes home from work around 6.  A few of our evenings have been a little rough due to a decreased milk supply but we are working on improving that.  Dave and I usually tag team dinner and while I am giving Brody his bath at 7 Dave is in charge of transferring pumped milk from bottles to bags, and cleaning all my pump and bottle supplies for the next day.  After Brody's bath he eats and then around 7:45 I read him a story, rock him until he is drowsy and he goes to sleep in his crib at 8.  He now sleeps without being swaddled which to my surprise was no issue to break.  Luckily for us Brody stirs but never wakes until 5:45AM when get him up to eat and play before work.  He is such a good sleeper!!!  

So far we are adjusting as best we can to our new normal life and will continue to work out the details.  Overall I am as happy as I can be with this new routine.  I am so thankful for Kaitlyn and one day hope to work 4 days a week instead of 5 so that I can spend more time watching my little man grow. 

Lots of Snuggle Time Late

Kaitlyn And Brody On A Walk

Moments along the way!

So much has happened during Brody's 2 months.  I sometimes wish I would have written more but I didn't want to spend a moment away from my little boy.  Here are some pictures to document the last 10 weeks.

Jamie, Great Grandma Nan, and Aunt Zulu came to visit

Daddy and Brody Nap Time

St. Nick came to visit

Love His Peach Fuzz On His Arms

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First Walk In The Stroller

First Trip to Northern Kentucky

Sleeping on Mommy's Chest

Taken at Christmas by my Brother Aaron.

Visiting Cole!

So Sleepy

All Clean

Some Of My First Smiles!!

Growing Out of My Newborn Clothes

More Sleeping with Dad

Check Out That Bottom Lip!!!

I AM HUNGRY!!!

Love To Stand!!!

2 Month Checkup!

Not Feeling Well After My Shots.

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More Smiles for Mommy!

How Is It Possible!!!

How is it Possible:
- To love someone so much
- That Dave and I made a human
- That he is already 10 weeks old
- That my maternity leave is almost over.
-........ I could go on and on.

So very much has happened since I wrote about Brody's Birth story.  Many times I have wanted to sit down and write about it but I just couldn't peal my self away from him to do so.  I also knew that some things that have happened since he was born have been really hard and I knew I needed some distance from them and time to gain some perspective.

Brody is now 10 and a half weeks old and I cant believe how much he has changed since birth.  Right now he LOVES to stand, chew on his hands, and laugh.  He doesn't have to many dislikes and only fusses when he is hungry or really tired.  He is a great sleeper and always has been,  At 6 weeks he was sleeping 6 hours at night and going right back down after a feeding for another three hours.  Currently we have established a wonderful night time routine where he gets a bath at 7, eats around 7:45 and we lay him down in his crib at 8.  He falls to sleep easily on his own in his crib doesn't wake till 6AM.  I must add though that he tosses, turns, and grunts like crazy from 4-6 until he passes lots of gas.  His tossing and turning keep me up but I can't complain because I have never had a single night since he was born where I felt sleep deprived.  Brody now sleeps in his own room and we had no trouble transitioning.  I actually feel like I can watch him better with the monitor than when he was in the dark in our room.  I plan on trying to break him of having to be swaddled in the next month or so and I already know that it will probably be our most challenging thing yet.

Unfortunately a few weeks after Brody was born I had a few issues with my recovery that were very difficult to deal with.  With the help of a few wonderful doctors, my family and friends I am happy to say most of the issues have resolved.  Acutely while I was dealing with these issues I felt very cheated because my maternity leave was spent either stuck on the couch or in a doctors office.  I wanted so badly to be out and about with my little man, taking walks, shopping or hanging out with friends.  Looking  back now, I am not happy that I had to go through those things, but because I was so limited in activity I got to spend weeks snuggled up on the couch with Brody.  I am so glad that I got those moments with him instead of getting out and walking or shopping with him. 

As it approaches the time for me to go back to work I am very sad.  I actually have not felt this sad about anything since Dave deployed to Iraq.  I love my job, and the people I work with but to be completely honest I would rather be home with him.  In an ideal world I would stay home  with him until he went to school and then I would return to work.  This scenario is unfortunately not possible so I must learn to deal with having to be away from him.  We have hired a great girl to be his nanny and I feel very comfortable with her and how she will care for him.  I worry and  hope that he does well with this transition of care and that him and Kaitlyn find what works for them and he remains a happy baby.  I worry about his breathing and how he sometimes obstructs when crying really hard. I worry about missing moments and him getting attached to her more than me.  I worry that he will cry and if I were home I could fix it quickly but Kaitlyn will have trouble figuring out what he needs.  I know that most of these are silly, but it still hurt to think about. 

Things I a have learned about motherhood so far:
- it's better than I could have imagined
- It scares me to think about how much I love him and how much it would hurt if something happened to him
- there are moments that are hard and for a brief moment you might question why you did this but then a little smile or coo reminds you and you forget all about what was so hard.
- I need to constantly remind myself to not look forward to when he can do later in life and to cherish the moments of where he is right now in development. 

As I finish writing this my little man is waking up from a nap so instead of typing more, I am going to go scoop him up and cherish these last few days of my time off. 

Brody's Newborn Pictures

Newborn Pictures

One of my very best friends was kind enough to visit us the weekend we came home and captured these moments for us.

Nanna & Pop

Wish I Could Stop The Clock

Week 1 & 2

Time is flying by!!!!  I wish I could stop the clock!!! It has only been two weeks but Brody has already changed so much in my eyes.  

We were discharged from the hospital Friday the 30th and not a moment to soon.  For various reasons we couldn't get out of that place fast enough.  Upon arriving home with our little guy Dave dropped us off and quickly ran to the grocery to get dinner for the evening.  We didn't have any company which was nice.  Dave and I really have enjoyed spending time just the three of us.  We just sat on the couch that night and admired him.  His little noises and expressions are just so incredibly cute!!  The first night with him at home was no big deal, and nights since then with him have been pretty easy.  We have been blessed with an exceptionally easy going baby.  Brody rarely cries and ceases as soon as I pick him up.  We have not had any unexplained fussiness and the only time he does cry out is when he is ready to eat.  Other than that, he just grunts when he is unhappy with something and it is easily fixed with a diaper change, feeding, or snuggle time.  We have even already established a night routine.  We all go to bed at 10pm, and I get up with Brody around 2 when he wakes me up by grunting.  During this time I feed and change him and then lay him back in his sleeper and we all go back to sleep till 6am when Dave gets up for work.  We are on our third week now and consistently this has been our routine so I am hopeful that it will stay this way.  

Breastfeeding has been somewhat challenging due to pain but all in all its going pretty well.  We met with a lactation consultant this Monday and she was very helpful.  She gave me some pointers and reassured me that we were doing everything right.  Brody even ate 6 0z during our visit with her.  He is definitely a little piggy!!! 

We unfortunately have spent most of these last two weeks at doctor appointments for either him or me.  I think yesterday was our 9th appointment between the two of us.  Nothing serious, but they have definitely taken a toll on me.  We just keep reminding our selves that we have a healthy baby and that's all that matters.

We have had many visitors over the last few weeks which has been wonderful.  We also have has the pleasure of having my mom and Dave's mom down for extended periods of time to help us with Brody and me with my recovery.  We are all very very thankful for their help for these last two week would have been much harder with out them.

Here are some pictures of our  first few days at home.....

 First Bath!

Pop!

Aunt Emily