My First Born.

Dear Brody,

As I sit down to write this tears immediately fall. You are my first born, my reason for living, and encompass everything in this world that makes me happy. 

We have had a crazy roller coaster ride with you the last 2 1/2 years. You have brought so much joy to our lives. You were an amazingly easy baby. You slept, and were a happy baby. As a toddler so far you have been challenging. Don't get me wrong we love you but you are just like your dad, hard headed and stubborn. Pair that with 2 year old tantrums and you are a force to be reckoned with. 

I love your determination, your tenacity and your kind heart. 
At night, after I tuck you in you get up as I stand to leave and wrap your little arms around my neck, hug me while patting my back and give me snotty kisses. Most nights you will do this a few times before I leave. Don't get me wrong I know part of this is a stall tactic but each time you hug me it's the best hug I have ever received. 

Tonight or tomorrow we will leave you in the care of friends and family as we go to the hospital so I may give birth to your little brother or sister. I have mixed emotions about this. I know you will love having a sibling but the adjustment of not having us all to yourself will be hard on you. You are such a Mommy's boy and often spend most of your time attached to me in one way or another. This will become more difficult as I will also need to care for your sibling. I am so worried that watching me care for the baby will break your little heart. I know it breaks mine to think it might hurt you. 

It's hard to believe I will love another human the way I love you , but I know once they place your brother/sister in my arms I will.  My heart will grow tomorrow in ways I am sure I don't even know. I can't wait to see what joy this new life will bring to all of us. 

I hope and pray that everything goes smooth tomorrow. I pray that you will love your new role as a big brother and you will not be heartbroken when I need to care for the baby and can't be your everything. You will always be my first baby and the first time I knew I could love this much. 

I Love you more than I ever thought I could Love another human being!!! I will be anxiously awaiting my return home from the hospital so you can wrap your little arms around my neck and hug me in the way only you can. 

Love,

Mommy.